" The Ten Commandments of Air Travel " by the average moviegoer.

1. There will exactly be one celebrity per flight.

2. The guy with the beard has a drug problem !

3. There is always a highly talented, multi faceted doctor with cross platform expertise travelling in every flight. Should the flight crash, he will be the first to survive.

4. There is also a fatherly figure around to give you advice on life, the universe and other stuff whenever you want. And of all the time you can get it, you will only want it minutes before getting killed.

5. There are two pilots flying every plane and one always dies.

6. There is one happy family who makes another passenger realise he/she should get back with their estranged spouse.

7. Kids on board will survive plane hijacks with ease. The same cannot be said for their parents though, who usually top the "its-a-sacrifice-for-the-team" list.

8. After a flight crash, that girl you gave a second look in the airport lobby will become your soul mate.

9. There is one devout christian to pray to Jesus whenever things go wrong. With luck you might also get a Muslim or a Korean co-passenger.

10. The air hostess is always a good person. :-P

Worry not, Wilbur's here

I have lots and lots of movies. But still get bored at times.
So, I go and do this.

Me : "Dai unaku ellam soodu soranaye illaye da"

Him : "Hi Friend"

The Man,
The Phenomenon, 
The Icon, 
The Legend.
Wilbur Sargunaraj.
Get a piece of him :
Facebook , Facebook Album,  Personal Site , Youtube , Google.

Someone Gimme a Kickkk

Inception in the blogging world?

And we thought Ramarajans And Rajkirans were funny!

If you have already heard about the concepts of 'Divide & Conquer', good. Read about it again. Else it goes something like this. Suppose, you are going to have dinner. You have a huge, full grilled chicken in front of you. Now, not that you cant eat it one sitting, but you might end up having a stomach ache. Thus, for better satisfaction you divide it in half, (Now Sai, i m not gonna suggest share it with your friend :P) you have one half now and the other late night (preferably while watching a champions league match). This technique of dividing the chicken for the present and the delicious future for betterment in efficiency of consumption is Divide & Conquer. Now that you know D&C, this has nothing to do with the post. Thought I would let you know I m dividing and conquering right now. Yummmm!


Ok. Now, two things happened in the recent past tat makes me write this. 
One, I saw someone dress stupider than Ramarajan. 
And two, Rajkiran has an untold secret!


Ramarajan and the horizontal half-pants :

<-- this is Ramarajan, known in Tamil nadu for his undaunted courage to wear pink shirts, pink lungis, pink trousers and his kind nature, that marks the willingness to be laughed at uproariously by the entire state, at the slightest behest. No. I m not even gonna start on his acting. His action sequences makes you go OMG! and his romance sequences appeals for the same emotion too. Ironically, he has the record for the longest running tamil movie. Karakattakaran. Now you know why Vijay names his movies ending with "karan". He is said to have got a bit of MGR in him. So he tried placing his foot in politics; became something for a while; then lost his footing; wife divorced him; fell heroically. period. 

Now compare Ramu with this dude --> whom I saw in television while changing channels. Apparently, he is a wrestler and like all wrestlers he over acts. His name is Zack something. And as I watched from my ever-slipping sofa cushions, he did something no other man has ever dared before and I went holy mother of god!
He wears long pants in one leg and briefs in the other leg!!!
(In Tamil - Oru kaal la pant Oru kaal la jatti! ) Holy Mother of God!
The altruist in me sprung to action and believed this social bigotry against Ramarajan should come to an immediate end.
After all, it took the wife 20 years to divorce him. With all due respect, HE IS THE MAN.


Rajkiran and the brand value :


Moving onto our second case study, the other titan of tamil cinema, Rajkiran. 
Now, I was at a Jockey factory sales recently and surrounded by hundreds/thousands of underwear, I might have perhaps unearthed one of the greatest secrets ever. 
After cruising through various sections, I settled at the cotton nightwear section. Little did I know that, thats where the divine intervention was to take place.
~~ 
As the fabric bore a close semblance,
Epiphany, it was that struck me, in silence,
Years of laughing and rianting,
It wasn't after all a cheap outing.
A laugh riot, he had been,
Now, the quiet truth i have seen.


O Society, My Society,
All along, it was the pot calling the kettle black,
Mistaken nature of things! what a pity,
For now, Patta patti is the new black!
A laugh riot, he had been,
Now, the quiet truth i have seen.
~~
If sense hath not thy mind made, see the following two pictures. 
One is the picture of a model, wearing a costly but comfy jockey nightwear, more of a boxer. And the other is Rajkiran wearing the near exact same boxer, but with a lungi! 

And we thought Ramarajans And Rajkirans were funny!!

He-Who-Must-Not-Commentate !!

What do you remember of the recently concluded Indian Premier League?

Yes, the Cheerleaders were great.

Then?

Chennai Super Kings won the IPL. Athough speculations of match-fixing did arise on this particular edition (Finally! I had been saying tat ever since Dravid started hitting sixes for RCB in IPL 2!), be that as it may be, "hey we won it fair and square!"

Anyways, this post isn't about how Raina sweated to his underpants to help Chennai lift the trophy or who Preity Zintha might have been boinking recently, but it is about one man and ONE man only.

And for the love of god, it isn't Lalit Modi.

The man who has been every child and adult's nightmare recently.

He who has mentally scarred me for life, even with the very little cricket i saw and unfortunately heard,

He who makes Sachin Tendular's magnifique batting seem like a great movie with a bad re-recording,

He who would have made Shakespeare and Marlowe, realise English could be made to sound irritating too,

He who makes me hit the wall so hard with my head, that Birla Cements might reconsider their chemical formula,

Yes, I AM talking about LAKSHMAN SIVARAMAKRISHNAN.

He is one of those guys who you would love to have him as your neighbor, so you can go and beat him up as and when you wish. (Now say "Its a DLF Maximum!, you @#$@!^%$ ")

Disclaimer : I don't give a furry rat's tiny ass if you find this offending Mr.L.S.

Technically speaking, its not grammar or pronunciation that Siva lacks. But COMMON SENSE, which he tries to cover it up with stupid jokes. And fails. Miserably. He also has that you-wanna-hit-him-first-thing accent. I can put what Siva does in these words, which I read somewhere, but I m not able to remember :

"He often attacks the context at work with a mixed flair of incredible genius and utter stupidity, its often difficult to separate which is which."

Just a crazy thought for a moment. If L.S had been commentating for the EPL, instead of the IPL ?

1. Siva : "Thats the first goal for MAN U Andy. (Pause) And the first goal for Berbatov as well." Andy Gray : Huh.
2. With Van Der Sar, the ball is always in the air. "That ball traveled in the air for a long time." doesn't augur too well.
3. Barclays Moment of Success sounds stupid and it is too.
4. Now, Liverpool can add to their list of reasons(apart from "1.Lucas") why their season was such a flop.
5. The injured Rooney would remain injured.
6. Its Arjen Robben, not Arjun Robben!
7. Shebby Singh would roll over and act dead.
8. Chelsea will still defend with 9 men.
9. FIFA would crash every time you start a game, before it says "Its Andy Gray and Martin Tyler Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan!"

But hey who knows, Madrid might sign him to be Spain's leading spokesman. (Ok I m not going that crazy here.) :D

However in reality, (he is still commentating) he is often made to sound good, thanks to Ranjit Fernando and Rameez Raja. They just make you wanna pull your hair out. Literally. Ranjit can't have enough of Sangakkkkkkkara and Jayassssuriya, while Rameez is in a class of his own. :D

"Two overs left. That's 12 balls folks!" -Rameez Raja (Wow!)

There is also Arun Lal who seem obsessed with 'pressure' - pressure situation, under pressure shot, pressure this, pressure that. But had you asked me, why my anger/irritation zeroed in on Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan, I wouldn't have an answer. (Must be the specs probably.)

Thats how it is with someone you don't like. You really can't explain why you hate them at times and when I say u can't explain, I dont mean there isn't a reason. There is just too many to choose from. You simply hate them. period.

PS. Ergo, must be the stupidity i guess.

NRI-pl?

The first few thoughts that striked my mind when i heard the 'Indian' premier league is shifting out of India..


~The format - Group of matches played on different grounds, 14 for each team and the teams with the highest points will play the semis followed by the finals. The home/away concept that seemed to be an interesting quotient in the first season is lost!


~Will teams be renamed to Durban Daredevils, Cape Town Royal Challengers and the Kimberley Kings XI? Uhh!


~Also this means no complementary-free tickets for namma ooru MPs and MLAs and they could concentrate on some real work rather than chit-chatting with celebrities and chief guest-ing over matches.


!!!Lekha Washingon's compering will be sorely missed. :(


~Karuvachis for entertaining the crowd? (Ofcourse Mallya could import a piece or two for variety!). Now i m no big racist or anything esp.when it comes to entertainment, but like a majority of ppl believe - shouldnt the 'fairer' sex be fair enough?


~I don't think Sharukh and Preity have a lot of mumbo-jumbo African fans. So dancing or singing in the VIP box could draw some eerie eyes.


~Another chance for the Indian youngsters to do some globetrotting. But be careful guys, Africa is the source for a lot of things!


~Even kindergartners know that, not a lot of Indians perform well outside the sub-continent. So does it mean we r not getting any of those colored caps again this time?


~With the Economic meltdown, any form of lucrative deal should be grabbed by the government! Security being the main reason for which the event is moved out of India baffles me a lot, cos if any foreign cricketers get shot/killed, India would be blamed. Yes. But if any of the Indian cricketers (which includes a larger percentage!) are killed in SA, again India would be sinned for not letting someone get killed in their own country!


~Will each franchise have an African Ambassador as well, to promote the event there?
Not a problem for the Chennai Superkings! they already got one! ;)

Do you atheists do this?!?!

He he..

25 things people do on study holidays!!

1.Movies can't wait any longer. (w/help from Utorrent and mininova ofcourse!)
2.Errands to run for Dad.
3.Asking f(r)iends if they have studied anything.. Ah! the pleasure of knowing they haven't.
4.Friends Friends Birthday parties.
5.Shopping!
6.Sleeping wide mouthed till 10 in the morning.
7.Visiting the kitchen as many times as possible.. How many times do u drink Water??
8.Kadalais big time!
9.Television has never been this better.. Jodi No.1, Kalaka P.Yaaru, Rose Akka, KKK..
10.Deciding "I will surely start studying when the clock reaches the nearest whole number.."
11.Gaming. Fifa Fifa Fifa!!
12.Xeroxes.
13. Slumber,Siesta, Rest,Sleep,day dreaming..
14.Combined studies.. Just to make sure others don't study as well ;)
15.FM. (Hellloww this is 99.99 FM.. Neenga ketukitu irukurathu Radio Mixie.. )
16.Forward messages.. Most of em ending "ippadiku exam ku padikathor sangam, padichu padichu thalaya pichukira sangam,"
17.4-5 cups/goblets of T's n coffees.
18.The other side - Meetings, miss yous ;)
19.Doubts.. Wait,i meant on which subject, exam date, etc.. :)
20.Youtube videos.
21.Cell phone meddling,repairing,photoing,ringtone searching.
22.Staying awake late night and still end up doing nothing.
23.Conference call stories!
24.Orkut - Most Imp. anti-boooring activity
Or


25.Vetti blogs like this ;)

Inishials

4th grade :
Boy1 : Aiii boy tats the tall Arun boy.
Boy2 : hmmm no boy, its B.Arun, meees even scolded him during maths class la?


10th grade :
Student1 : Can u please give this to Arun?
Student2 : which one? The Volleyball Arun or K.Arun?


College :
?1: Mapla, call Arun to the movie too da
?2: Which Arun da? C.Arun ah , illa ******(Some member of the opposite sex or some fad word) Arun ah?


People have always differentiated those with common names in their own way. Perhaps Initials are the more permanent ways of differentiating them. Initials. Now i have always had trouble with initials, either mixing them up or missing them out and consequently causing confusion around. Especially with Saurashtrians, North Indians( or Any chappathi eating clan) those who have a string of alphabets starting from one for the family name and the others for dad's name, dad's dad's name and stuff. Phew!


If people had initials based on what they do or what they are..
My list of People and their initials (or rather what they ought to be)


G.W.Bush - Geo Waste Bush
S.R.Tendulkar - Sachin Runs Tendulkar
C.Ronaldo - Connoisseur Ronaldo
M.Azharuddin - Match-fixing Azhuruddin


A.Jolie - Attttttractiva Jolie ;)
D.Drogba - Diving Drogba?
C.Vijay - Comedian Vijay (Obvious!)
J.Grisham - Javvu Grisham
S.Akthar - Speedy Akthar/ Steroidal Akthar


V.V.S.Laxman - Very Very Sluggish Laxman
S.J.Suryah - Sema Jollu Suryah
T.R.Simbhu - Totally Raunchy Simbhu (Poor 9Thara!)
M.Jackson - Morphed Jackson(Its a man, No! Its a woman, No! Its M.Jackson)


M.S.Dhoni - Mosquito Swatting Dhoni
MNM(Eminem) - Music with No Melodies
S.A.Ferguson - Splendid Administrator Ferguson
B.Spears - Bald Spears


Laloo.P.Yadav - Laloo Pervert Yadav (2 sons and 7 daughters!)
I.Raja - Ingenious Raja
R.Federer - Racketing Federer
S.C.Ganguly - Sucks @ Cricket Ganguly (would have been appropriate to his 2 yrs ago form)


B.Gates - Bright Gates
L.Armstrong - Lion-hearted Amstrong
S.Jayasurya - Sottai Jayasurya
Dr.Manmohan Singh - Dr.Mannequin Singh (anything u say Soniaji)
S.Warne - Spinning Warne


K.Hassan - Kadavul Hassan
J.Chan - Jumping Chan
M.Tyson - Morattu Tyson
V.Sehwag - Valukkai Sehwag :D


And last not be least V.Gowthem - Virtuous Gowthem ;)

the DAY vinci code

Hai.. Hello.. Vanakkam.. Vanthanam.. Namaste.. Namashkar..
Kanna, ippo parthana, namma college sernthu 1 varsham aaidichuu..
Athukku batch day celebrate panra neramum vanthachhuu..
Athunaala naan inna solraen na,
Edra Shirt ah.. podra print ah....


A few epigrams that dawned on our(Sowms , Sai and me) dally minds.. (& stolen from Orkut communites too :D)


CSE :


We don't need some 1's complement (~1)


int main {return 0;}


College is my home,
HOD is my mom.


There are 10 types of people in this world :
1.Those who understand Binary and
2.Those who don't understand Binary.


Linux!=Windows


TCE=Talented Computer Engineers(?)


IP address : \\ 36.24.36=0



I m a prugrammer
I m a programier
I m a Programmoor

I write code.


She++ ;)


Computer enGENIOUrS..


God is REAL unless we declare them as INTEGER!


HTTP - Highly Talented Trendy Person


class student
{
Private :
Matter movies, Alcohol
void drinking();


Protected :
girlfriend
void dating();


Public:
studies, sports
void acting();
}


We were asked to decide on the logo too, which after choosing the tagline, was a cinch. Windows, Linux , Apple, and a lot of other (dream company ;) ) logos were borrowed for thought, but we finally rested on a simple, yet more meaningful insignia..




The Recycle Bin.. ;)

Hangmen!!!

Back to college! New semester, New subjects which surely means NEW TEACHERS!! (not all of em though..:( ) Well "new" has never been expectation-fulfilling in the past and that was all set to remain unchanged this semester too or maybe not ;)


After the usual mix-up as to where we were supposed to go, we finally settled into the usual penultimate row in one of the (class)rooms at the newly constructed IT block, praying beyond hope that at least this semester, the benches would be filled randomnly with the same sex in not more than two consecutive rows. But as if it were unwritten laws of the institution, the benches got filled with birds of same feather flocking together. Great! Where is the “co” in “coeducation” people??


I tried convincing my mind to remain attentive in the class, failed miserably and ended up playing Assassin’s Creed or FIFA 08 in my mobile. Warily looking out for the teacher’s eyes, I progressed through each level. I almost shouted out “Goal!” at an instant, when the Cmp (or mobile! ;) ) scored an own goal. The class was unusually full, studious studs being present as usual and those big time bunking blokes too present to assess their new teachers and to plan their usual moves. That’s when she came. No one seemed to notice her and the very few who did, exchanged smirks with me. She appeared to grin at me, generating a sense of déjà vu. She stayed for what seemed to be an eternity, and out she went, without even looking at me this time. Yes! my mobile had switched to power-save mode after sending a startling sms tone ;)


We also learnt that our inevitable, not so eagerly anticipated results were due on Friday. Me, having messed up the exams as usual this time. Well, u can’t blame me this time. I sat LOLing after reading the question paper “Explain the Marie-Langevin Relation” :D Oooh.. I don’t mind answering it, but I bet Monsieur Curie won’t be a happy man! ;) And thank god it wasn’t “Langevin-Debye Relation”, otherwise I would have been ROFLing.. ) I tried staying optimistic for a miracle to occur. The afternoon session was by no means anywhere near to interestingness and so, Sai, Sowmi and me resorted to a game of Hangman (or) Hollywood (as they called it), based on football player names. ELANO, NZOGBIA, PEPE, HEINZE, DJIBRIL CISSE were a few among the questions. We soon understood that, the shorter they are, the harder they become! ;) Ah! yes! Memories of first sem. Hangman games with Swami and Nivas during those Basic "_" classes resurfaced, what had been certainly few of the best days of my life. Hmmmm...
Ever wondered why HANGMAN, despite being one of the most popular mind game among students, played as an anti-boredom activity never got legal recognition? Must be due to the following reasons i guess: 1. Well movies involving numerals such as “300”, “Se7en” and single alphabets such as "XXX" have been almost virtually impossible to guess!
2. The questioner could also change the name of the movie based on the total number of sequels to it or the total number of movies in a series. For example, in the Scary Movie series, if the player has found out “SCARY/MOVIE/_” the last “_” could well be changed between 1 to 4 as and when required, thereby the player having no chances of winning!
3. Movies of similar spelling, such as “SAW” and “JAW” could be easily tainted too. ;)
Well if Tic Tac Toe, Hangman, Bingo, Join the Dots were played on a bigger stage, people could fill every single nanosecond of their free time. Then, neither would i be writing such craps nor would u be reading it! ;)

Cat'toons

In the cartoon world, almost every creature created by “god”, has had its moment of glory in history. There s not a single living creature which hasn’t donned the role of lead actor in a cartoon creation. Ranging from Dogs, Dinosaurs to Cat fishes and Mosquitoes every possible thing that u can imagine have been heroes in their own way. (I think I can watch a mosquito whole day rather than a Ramarajan or a Vijayakumar! Uh!) Even though there is a superfluous list of animals to chose from, it is always cats that has impressed me the most.

Super Sleuth Sylvester, which has very little ;) trouble catching Tweety, Speedy Gonzalez and Wile.E.Coyote is the first ever cat to compete with Scooby in solving mysteries. Sylv has unfortunately always ended up on the losing side of the game, failing to catch its prey. However this conceited feline with its sloppy, stridulating tongue is just “desthpicable”!


ThOMas is perhaps the most dim-witted, brainless, goody goody cat u will ever come across, but an artiste in his work and with his charismatic comedy, mass wreckage caused in company of jerry just makes us go gaga over him.


There are very less arrogant, sardonic species even in homo sapiens as Mr. Garfield, the sluggish, selfish, rotund, gingerbread cat. His Sarcastic nature, and disrespect for humans and dogs are strangely hilarious. I have always pondered over a phrase in tamil, “thimiru edutha naye”.. well if one knew Garfield that would have surely been rephrased.


Few Garfield Dialogues I cam across in a site..


1. I'm a creature of habit ... All the bad ones


2. Jon: You get the house filthy, and I clean it!
Garfield: Ah, the delicate balance of nature.


3. Jon: It's a beautiful morning!
Garfield: Wake me in the ugly afternoon.


4. Jon: Having a girlfriend changes everything, Garfield. The ways things taste, the way things smell. I'm gonna have to change my socks more often.
Garfield: Especially the way things smell.


5. Garfield: Hey, Jon, what's new?
Jon: My life stinks.
Garfield: I said what's NEW?




6. Jon: Why don't you ever listen to me?
Garfield: Huh?
Jon: Why don't you ever agree with me?
Garfield: That's not true.
Jon: Why don't you show me any respect?
Garfield: I do... bonehead.
Jon: Why don't you ever show affection?
Garfield: Catch me around a mirror sometime.
Jon: Why don't you cause me so much grief?!
Garfield: Because I'm a cat.
Jon: And why do I still love you anyway?
Garfield: See previous answer.


And there is also T-Bone and Razor (not to mention Ms.Briggs ;) ), a kids sensation and very popular among teens too. They substantiated the fact that cats can fight justice equally well as any ___man could.. Phew! the Swat Kats can kept me glued to the telivision set everyday after school..


Well, in a way to say, anthropomorphism has always been perfect to felines.And maybe that is also the reason why rats (Stuart, Jerry, Ratatoullie( I dunno its name), Mickey) have always been heroes, to amuse people with a different breed, cos cats are so human'ish!

“Sufferin’ Succotash!”