Beijing Huan Ying Ni..

,S1,135,610,700
And counting.. ;) (India's population estimate as on July 20^th)


Still our chances of winning a Olympic medal seems a distant likelihood. The best individual Indian performance to date, has been the lone silver medal by Rathore at Athens 04. Except for Hockey, Sports itself is a matter of concern in the second most populous country.


A cricket team that has a huge fan following and requires a foreign coach and still loses.
Tennis - One in the top 100?
F1 - A stage for Narain's futile attempts.
Soccer - Do u know an Indian football player besides Baichung Bhutia?!?
Basketball, Baseball, etc.. - Errrrrr...
For all of the "human resources" that India has, shouldn't it be topping the charts?


This topic has been the mainstay for punch dialogues in movies, election campaigns, etc.. that is what they all say, don't they.. "Y hasn't India won a single individual gold medal in the Olympics?? Ponder."


Well i say, Enough of pondering and consequently wondering over the reason for our dismal performance in the past. Its high time that we did something about it, to pull off a feat, that is deservedly ours. In other words, "Yaaravadhu ethavathu panungalaen da!!"


**The government having cogitated on this, in a bid to solve the issue, hikes up the petrol price (ethukku da ippo kootineenga?!?) and decides to send our screen starlets to Beijing!**


List of the final competitors for Beijing 08 from India..


1. Shooting, Archery - Captain Vijayakanth, who has had several real-time life saving combats, is chosen for this category. This should explain it all, showing his relationship with guns and bullets and why shooting at Olympics 08 should be just another day at the office..


2. Volleyball - Rajnikanth and Madhavan.. The superstar's heroics with the ball at Baba was an occasion that was both remarkable and memorable. And that is also the precise reason he is chosen for this. He showed us his amazing control of the ball, defying Newton's laws, unbelievable stamina, the force with which the ball hits the opponents and the style with which he does all this simply makes us go - What a man!
Madhavan as there is no place for cricket (Priyamana Thozhi) in Olympics, could play his team member, for he has been caught running with the volleyball in his hand, in several song sequences (mudhan mudhalai, mobila.. ) but has never been reported playing!!


3. Water Polo - Munna, Jiju, Krishna, Bob , Mani and their respective girlfriends of the "Boys", will form the Water polo Men's and Women's team for their "dating" performance, but will not play against each other!


4. Athletics - The track and field events can be single-handedly taken care of a Ilayathalapathy Vijay, for

• He can run extremely fast and hop into a running Electric train (Hurdles)
• Even while running at the end of the pack, he can finish first in 5 secs. (Sprint races) but he is warned his opponents wont be chunky fatsos as Sreeman in ATM.
• He can jump 150 m (which should be sure enough for Long jump and even Triple jump if he started it after jumpin at the same spot twice) from the top of a building to a nearby railway bridge.
• He can jump taller than a building from an underground drainage system (High jump)

He is faster than fastest, Quicker than quickest. ;) (CARS Bit)
and he will be joined by Murali and Vadivelu for Pole vault. Those 7 ft giants who have suffered defeat in old Rajni movies could try their hand at Javelin throw or Discus throw..


5. Hockey - Napoleon.. This is a unanimous decision by the board, as Mr.Napoleon has been using a metal hockey stick (Aruvaal) in most of his movies, so all he has to do is replace it with a wooden one.


6. Judo, Taekwondo - Arjun & Vishal. It shouldn't be that difficult to both of them, especially with Super Subburayan and Peter Hein as their coaches.


7. Weightlifting - Sarathkumar. If he can lift Namitha off his back with just one hand on the ground, he can lift anything standing upright.


8. BADminton - As there is no mixed doubles category for Tennis(nalla vela Sania thapicha!) at the Olympics, Simbhu should be a bit low on confidence. His dad, the kollywood King Kong feels that the mixed doubles Badminton section would satisfy his neeeeds.


9. Football - Surya , Tarun, Sibiraj. For they have been able to pull of bicycle kicks with ultimate ease.. And Mr.Surya no dancing on the field with Bhoomika, the same goes for you too Mr.Tarun No aatam pottufying with Shreya and Trisha..


10. Cycling - Several actors can do this but still we had to give it to Jayam Ravi for driving his cycle with perfect balance on top of the compound wall in his debut movie.


11. Diving - Jeeva should be able to do this stuff, for his Dishyoom stuntman role and he could also try his hand at men's gymnastics for his one-leg balancing act in Raam.


12. Fencing - Ajit will have to do car-racing later and can now concentrate on his Fencing skills as he did in Billa, but not with Nayanthara and can play some real opponents.


13. Eve's Section - Namma ooru actresses are well capable of taking care of all the events for the fairer sex. Shreya for Gymnastics, but it will take a large effort to convince her not to wear low-waist jeans. Nami and Ramba will be the swimming mermaids.


14. Other sports - All the other sports can be taken care of the Ulaga Nayagan, Kamal Hassan and his 10 Avatars.


And last but not least, S.J.Surya will be the referee for his New's Whistle scene ;)

TERRORS XI

A Fantastic one-two..Amar and Subadesh.. Vishwa.. Sami.. Still Sami.. Crossed deep into the area.. whos at the end of it?? Accckksshhhuuuuuuu… off the post.. It’s a Goal Kick.. Headed on by Nivas.. Given away cheaply.. Wonderful sliding tackle from Raj.. Sarvi.. Crossed wide court to Sai, An exquisite through Pass and Vicccchhhuuuuu… Scoresssssssss!!!!!!

Ever wondered what would be running through the minds of those orderly, organized football managers who keep strutting along the sideline every single match, trying to influence the refrees and the linesmen, and urging their players to score goals, or egging them to injure opponents if they are ahead.. Ah… No wonder Roman Abrahamovich keeps changing his managers too often! Or keeps firing them should I say.. Maybe this is the reason why India has never excelled in this sport.. they simply cant handle managerial pressure.. If just studying can teach administering and managing skills, as the whole nation believes, Sir Alex Ferguson, should have had a gold medal in MBA!! Search of foreign coaches for the Indian Cricket team says it all! Well, u can teach skills to a person, but u cant teach him flamboyance!

I decided to try out my skills as a manager, to see if i m flamboyant at it ;) and there is no other better place to do it other than EA Sports Fifa 08.(neengu ketkurathu puriuthu.. “ithukku thaan ivalavu build up ah ?” He he..) Fifa series of games have been my love since 7^th grade. They keep me occupied for hours like no one does. I remember last creating players in Fifa 2002, where they had a Creation Master software along with the game. And I also remember Fifa 02, has a set of about 25-30 face packs and the created player is to look only any one of those faces! The whole world has only such type of faces or what?!? all other are walking xerox copies of each other?!?

Its only now since then I have tried creating a neighbourhood friend or Collegemate or maybe at times, some one so despicable, just for the pleasure of making them run with the ball, until they fatigue. (Enna Villathanam :D ) Or pickup a fight during Training sessions or getting him injured or making him sit on the bench the whole season while every other player plays, Ah! Sweet.. :)) Fifa 08 has several options unlike Fifa 02, allowing people to have minute changes from hair colour to even lip colour..

.. Terrors XI, a club of he common faces i see everyday and those of unwavering friendship that has been etched in my heart forever. It is the begginning of the history of an undaunted, fearless, aggressive, talented club, which is to overthrow every other top european clubs (rombha over ah iruko!) in the years to come!! OLE!! OLE!!

TEAM MANAGEMENT : (click to Enlarge ;) )

Chinna Chinna AASAI

1. Vanquish the Australian side, playing for India.
2. Defeat a doubles team of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal with the score line 6-0,6-0,6-0.
3. Win a 1 on 3 handicap match against the B.Show, G.Khali and Umaga.
4. Dart ahead Kimi’s Ferrari in my bicycle (on a race day).
5. Score a hat-trick against Chelsea, Barca or Milan (teams with the best defensive line).
6. Stroll down the pitch and hit Brett Lee’s 150+ kmph yorker for a six.
7. Do a 720 Back flip with my motorcycle (Royal Enfield ;) ), ensued by a Christ Air and a sidewinder before landing in a no footer.
8. Join the Swat Kats. ;)
9. Provide C.Ronaldo guidelines on how to perform tricks.
10. Managing 100 points in a single NBA game against Boston Celtics.
11. Next Tour de France champ.
12. Finish a 100 m dash ahead of Asafa Powell.
13. Conquer Frieza, Goku and Vegeta in a solitary clash.
14. Save Olive from both Bruto and Popeye.
15. Unravel a mystery devoid of a dog (Scooby), cat (Sylv) or a bird (Tweety).
16. Kill all “beings” in Serious Sam without dying once.
17. Watch Hindi Movies without subtitles.
18. Trounce Tony Hawks in Pro Skateboarding.
19. Arrive to college in Private Jets.
20. Act as Ron in HP-7 (Hermione :D ).
21. Score 15 goals in FIFA 08 (WC mode) with Derby County against Barcelona.
22. Bowl Sachin out for a Duck.
23. Featuring in some song by Eminem.
24. Act in a SJ Surya Movie.
25. Play Quidditch.
26. Play Cards at college.
27. Beds instead of Benches in class.
28. Proud owner of a Bugatti Veyron.
29. Save Earth like those ‘ ’men do.
30. Win Super Singer contest. :D
31. Veetoda Mappilai.
32. Complete all GTA San Andreas missions.
33. Drink Pepsi s instead of bed coffee.
34. Meet someone interesting (Jab We Met) on a train Journey.
35. New movie every day.
36. Unlimited amount balance in mobile phone.
37. Vichu Villa, Vichu Chateau and a Vichingham Palace.
38. PS3.
39. Centum in digital systems n circuits.
40. Procure Microsoft (not any software, the MNC! ).
41. Cheers! ;)
42. Love marriage. (Contradictory to pt.31? )
43. Veggie Food-7 days a week.
44. A matrix type Grandeur fight.
45. Shaolin Soccer style Soccer Match. (Martial Arts + Soccer)
46. Mixed doubles with Maria Sharapova. ;)
47. Be a split personality for few days.
48. Kids as beautiful as the wife. 


49. Wife as beautiful as a perfect espresso. Soul touching and hot. :)
And I have only just started.

Hogwarts College Of Engg. (An autonomous institution affiliated to Jakkama university. XXX: 666 Certified)

The most tormenting thing for every Engineering student are those bus rides they have to endure every day to and fro, and not to mention the long walk from the bus stand, had they missed the B5, which could make one gaunt and skeleton like. (No wonder Dhanush fits in movies perfectly as a college student!) I arrive late at the campus along with a few others and the watchman ‘kindly’ asks us to wear our Identity cards, and there would be at least one like me who realizes they have left their ID card at their places or even worse, slipped off their neck somewhere along the way. After some 5 minutes of lecture on the importance of wearing an ID card (my mind oblivious to them thinking of how I cud justify me being late this time), the watch guy finally lets me off n I gallop to my classroom with onlookers laughing at me as if I am some kind of studious guy, who doesn’t even want to miss even a hiccup from the lecturer’s mouth (How the hell would they know about my abysmal record at the attendance register!). Damn, the lecturer has already arrived!


Lec : What’s the time sir?
Me : Errr .. “9.15”(in a whisper)
Lec : Come in. Get seated.
This is what one has to go through everyday unless they have a friend like Nivas ;) or a very busy dad who earns enough to send his son to college by car every day.


~If only had J.K.Rowling’s work of fiction been veracious.. ~


Nivas would be waiting in his brand new Firebolt (08 seria) for me and I would be flying to college every day in a broomstick. ;)


The college buses will be replaced by Portkeys and it is ok if all students come to their required Portkey stops, just before a minute or so the college starts.


Or catch a Knight Bus (B5, A5, B22, 48) and get down at platform 9¾ (TK bus stop).


And also the robes one has to wear on days they have labs or workshops. (Bath robes for brazing and welding? Very comfy! )


We can carry around books using magic or maybe even do research between electrical field, magnetic field and magical field. (I just had my mater science class.. he he he )


Canteens would be selling Bouillabaisse, Chocolate frogs, Kidney puddings, Shell fish stews along with Bertie’s every flavor beans and Iced pumpkin juices in goblets.


And also every day it would be easier for the students to dodge and slip through the legs of the 7 ft Hagrid (watchman) for not wearing ID cards.





Mini – Drafters – Wands,
Pens – Quills and Engineering Drawing – Transfiguration.
Semester Exams – O.W.Ls,
Supplementary Exams – N.E.W.Ts and those 4 rupees test notebooks we get for our Internals – Parchments!


Staff – Ministry of Magic ;
HODS – Aurors.
Peons – Dementors.
Controller Of Examinations – Misuse of Magical Artifacts department.
ICICI Bank – Gringotts Wizarding Bank.
Boys hostel – Diagon Alley ,
Girls Hostel – Knockturn Alley.
College stores – Flourish and Blotts
Pump house – Chamber Of Secrets.


Symposium – Yule Ball
Inter-College Event – Triwizard tournament
Other Colleges – Beauxbatons and Durmstrangs


Suspended or Debarred students – Prisoners Of Azkaban.
Top Figures – Veelas!
Angavai, Sangavais - Moaning myrtle and Madame Maxime.


~Departments~
ECE – Gryffindor
IT – Ravenclaw
Mech – Hufflepuff
CSE – Slytherin (oh yes, I m in CSE :D )
The respective labs could act as Common rooms.


T.nagar with its hotels and browsing centers – our Hogsmeade..
Akka Kadai – Three Broomsticks where Akka is Mdm. Rosmerta and Sugarcane Juice – Butter Beer!


Well classes would still be boring then.. but nevertheless I could be feeding my pet in class or playing a prank on another student using any stuff from Weasely’s Wizard wheezes.. ;) or go on a ride in my broomstick between classes..
And last not but not least “Terror Gang – Dumbledore Army!”

~Authored by Riyaz and me. (The Boy who lived and He who must not be named.. ;))~