28 June 2010

The English Curry..

A Preview of the British Dailies tomorrow...


CHEATED! And then BEATEN! 
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We got cheated. And then we got beaten. 
An array of English superstars end probably their last world cup, to a blitzkrieg German attack. Thoroughly outplayed for the first 30 minutes by the Germans, going down 0-2, with Podolski and Klose scoring, the English showed courage to pull a goal back, through makeshift comedy defender Matthew Upson to make it 1-2. And immediately a minute later, Chelsea's heart and soul, Frank James Lampard chipped the ball over the German goalkeeper, from the edge of the area. Clearly, the ball hit the crossbar and bounced off more than a foot inside the goal-line, but the complacent referee and the linesmen, against millions of English fans (minus Manchester United fans) refused to believe their eyes, as to whether Lampard could do that! 
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" We believed Frank Lampard could not do that and we trusted our instincts. Do you think the replays could be morphed? ", commented Referee Jorge Labbadia when asked about the controversy. Now, could they be morphed?
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When suggested, " That.. Goal.. Referee.. Not Allow..", cried Lampard, having found the net or rather the line this time, after 34 shots and 2 world cups. 
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From there, England failed to realise it takes only 10 seconds to score a goal through a counter attack. And eventually, ended up getting defeated 4-1, after Thomas Mueller scored a brace....


ENGLAND IN ROO-INS 
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England's Talisman, Wayne Mark Rooney seemed off color today (as well), like he had been the last few matches. He failed to provide the much needed firepower for The Three Lions. He kept losing the ball, didn't have a single proper shot or chance at goal (very unlikely), and didn't set up anyone for a goal either. 
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When asked for his poor display at the world cup, Rooney told our reporter, " We acted like a buncha clowns out there. Clearly, Milner is an idiot. He provided no proper cross nor pass. And Gerrard on the other wing, doesn't want a Manchester United player to score! "
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" Frank's shot was in. Did I see it? Yes. Did I believe it? No. "
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" Yes. My performance was dismissive too! Need a Punch? :-@ ". Our reporter moved out before things got out of hand and the locker room burst to flames seconds after...


Another Day, Another World, ENGLAND WIN THE WORLDCUP 
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2867977/England-are-champs-of-sex-scandal-World-Cup.html


Further HUMILIATION
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"Gimme English citizenship and I ll win the world cup for ya guys in 2014", says Brazilian born Liverpool Mudfielder, Lucas Leiva...


CATALYST Mixup
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When asked why England couldn't go through, the Italian had this to say, "We obviously had a goal disallowed. And I should have started with Emile Heskey. He is so the perfect catalyst for Wayne. Defoe was prosaic. And why didn't I hear of Dawson before?"
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Enough with the catalyst stuff Fabio. Wake up. Heskey is a reserve player for his club, Aston Villa?!? 
Darren Bent scored 24 goals last season. Heskey has never scored more than 20 goals even with 2 years combined. And he is the catalyst?...


The INDIAN View
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Clearly, the Rooneys, Gerrards, Terrys were outplayed by the Oezils, Muellers and Podolskis today. But what that disallowed goal has done is, it has provided the much-needed alibi for the British. And you really can't say things would have been the same too, had that goal been allowed. 
Yes, Germany scored two after that, but they merely extended a lead under no pressure whatsoever. 2-2 at Half time could have been a whole different ball game. And we know what Rooney could do, (especially Lamps) if everyone around him starts scoring. 
So, did the British lose because of that goal? Maybe. Maybe not. 
Thus the simple beauty of arguments, it could overshadow even the weak, battered defence lines of the English... :D

19 June 2010

Watching the Worldcup with my cricket-enamored Mom

"No ma, India is not playing."


"No ma, that doesn't mean they didn't enter the the competition by not registering for it. We didn't qualify."


"Yes ma, but Australia play in the Worldcup."


"No ma, don't worry. I don't think they will win the worldcup."


"No ma, this is a different Ronaldo. Not the hare-teethed Brazilian."


"No ma. I wasn't seeing AXN, I was simply changing channels during the half time break."


"No ma, I don't think India will qualify for 2014 too, unless they host. (and Brazil are already doing it.)"


"The goalkeepers wear a different jersey to be differentiated from the other players ma. They both are the from the same team."


"Yes ma. I didn't understand that the first time too. (offside rule)"


"Yes ma, Pakistan didn't qualify either." :D


"Yes ma, I ll go and sleep now."
And 10 minutes later, the hall light flickers on. :)