Beijing Huan Ying Ni..

,S1,135,610,700
And counting.. ;) (India's population estimate as on July 20^th)


Still our chances of winning a Olympic medal seems a distant likelihood. The best individual Indian performance to date, has been the lone silver medal by Rathore at Athens 04. Except for Hockey, Sports itself is a matter of concern in the second most populous country.


A cricket team that has a huge fan following and requires a foreign coach and still loses.
Tennis - One in the top 100?
F1 - A stage for Narain's futile attempts.
Soccer - Do u know an Indian football player besides Baichung Bhutia?!?
Basketball, Baseball, etc.. - Errrrrr...
For all of the "human resources" that India has, shouldn't it be topping the charts?


This topic has been the mainstay for punch dialogues in movies, election campaigns, etc.. that is what they all say, don't they.. "Y hasn't India won a single individual gold medal in the Olympics?? Ponder."


Well i say, Enough of pondering and consequently wondering over the reason for our dismal performance in the past. Its high time that we did something about it, to pull off a feat, that is deservedly ours. In other words, "Yaaravadhu ethavathu panungalaen da!!"


**The government having cogitated on this, in a bid to solve the issue, hikes up the petrol price (ethukku da ippo kootineenga?!?) and decides to send our screen starlets to Beijing!**


List of the final competitors for Beijing 08 from India..


1. Shooting, Archery - Captain Vijayakanth, who has had several real-time life saving combats, is chosen for this category. This should explain it all, showing his relationship with guns and bullets and why shooting at Olympics 08 should be just another day at the office..


2. Volleyball - Rajnikanth and Madhavan.. The superstar's heroics with the ball at Baba was an occasion that was both remarkable and memorable. And that is also the precise reason he is chosen for this. He showed us his amazing control of the ball, defying Newton's laws, unbelievable stamina, the force with which the ball hits the opponents and the style with which he does all this simply makes us go - What a man!
Madhavan as there is no place for cricket (Priyamana Thozhi) in Olympics, could play his team member, for he has been caught running with the volleyball in his hand, in several song sequences (mudhan mudhalai, mobila.. ) but has never been reported playing!!


3. Water Polo - Munna, Jiju, Krishna, Bob , Mani and their respective girlfriends of the "Boys", will form the Water polo Men's and Women's team for their "dating" performance, but will not play against each other!


4. Athletics - The track and field events can be single-handedly taken care of a Ilayathalapathy Vijay, for

• He can run extremely fast and hop into a running Electric train (Hurdles)
• Even while running at the end of the pack, he can finish first in 5 secs. (Sprint races) but he is warned his opponents wont be chunky fatsos as Sreeman in ATM.
• He can jump 150 m (which should be sure enough for Long jump and even Triple jump if he started it after jumpin at the same spot twice) from the top of a building to a nearby railway bridge.
• He can jump taller than a building from an underground drainage system (High jump)

He is faster than fastest, Quicker than quickest. ;) (CARS Bit)
and he will be joined by Murali and Vadivelu for Pole vault. Those 7 ft giants who have suffered defeat in old Rajni movies could try their hand at Javelin throw or Discus throw..


5. Hockey - Napoleon.. This is a unanimous decision by the board, as Mr.Napoleon has been using a metal hockey stick (Aruvaal) in most of his movies, so all he has to do is replace it with a wooden one.


6. Judo, Taekwondo - Arjun & Vishal. It shouldn't be that difficult to both of them, especially with Super Subburayan and Peter Hein as their coaches.


7. Weightlifting - Sarathkumar. If he can lift Namitha off his back with just one hand on the ground, he can lift anything standing upright.


8. BADminton - As there is no mixed doubles category for Tennis(nalla vela Sania thapicha!) at the Olympics, Simbhu should be a bit low on confidence. His dad, the kollywood King Kong feels that the mixed doubles Badminton section would satisfy his neeeeds.


9. Football - Surya , Tarun, Sibiraj. For they have been able to pull of bicycle kicks with ultimate ease.. And Mr.Surya no dancing on the field with Bhoomika, the same goes for you too Mr.Tarun No aatam pottufying with Shreya and Trisha..


10. Cycling - Several actors can do this but still we had to give it to Jayam Ravi for driving his cycle with perfect balance on top of the compound wall in his debut movie.


11. Diving - Jeeva should be able to do this stuff, for his Dishyoom stuntman role and he could also try his hand at men's gymnastics for his one-leg balancing act in Raam.


12. Fencing - Ajit will have to do car-racing later and can now concentrate on his Fencing skills as he did in Billa, but not with Nayanthara and can play some real opponents.


13. Eve's Section - Namma ooru actresses are well capable of taking care of all the events for the fairer sex. Shreya for Gymnastics, but it will take a large effort to convince her not to wear low-waist jeans. Nami and Ramba will be the swimming mermaids.


14. Other sports - All the other sports can be taken care of the Ulaga Nayagan, Kamal Hassan and his 10 Avatars.


And last but not least, S.J.Surya will be the referee for his New's Whistle scene ;)