Step away from the ball and No one gets hurt !

Hello,

I haven't been writing much lately. In fact I have written exactly as many posts in the last few years as Abou Diaby's starts for Arsenal this season. Also, the same number of questions I would correctly answer, if you happen to ask me something/anything from my Engineering subjects. And co-accidentally, the number of people who resist from uploading photos of their recently-married/recently-onsite pona moonjis on facebook. 

0

Then you ask, why now da? why?

Why post something after all these years ? 

Like as if something great has been in the making all along ! 

Making yourself look like Tarantino or Shankar going by their work/years ratio. (See what I did there)

Why? 

Because a few things happened da. That only opened my eyes ! 

Atleast I have my eyes opened !

One of those things being my favorite defender Nemanja Vidic leaving Manchester United. Now, Vidic has always been an Adi Aaal (henchman) figure throughout my life. For a 13 year old kid watching football, he made sure I did not have to go through the heart break of watching my team concede a goal every time. He was determined to not make me sad. He protected me. He did the same for his 40 year old goalkeeper. He also did the same for his hothead right back. Vidic is that strong insurance you need in your team, so the Rafaels and Evanses can play confidently. They know any mistake they make, the Great Serb will cover for them. They know any opponent who provokes a fight, will have to go through him to get to them.
 

Calm down Bitches ! I got this.

Ten sports analyst/Layman terms la classifying, as far as defenders go there are two types:
1. Be there or 
2. Get There.

While Vidic is not considered amongst the brainiest of defenders who will already be there types (Like a Mertesacker - with his brilliant positioning despite his awkward height), he will definitely top the list of defenders who will get there by determination types. Vidic will get there to take the ball even if you were the Roadrunner sprinting away. He will get there and disarm you in the most efficient of ways. Even if he slips, he will never give up, wave hands in a depressing manner and blame Life, Earth, Universe like an average English defender would do. Vidic would rather get up and sprint forward without giving up hope and ultimately minimize the damage that were to happen. 

And of course there is the third type of defender, Don't be there and Don't get there ! which thala Evra has been preaching a couple of seasons now with fervid devotion.

 Vidic also teaches one to care not for style, but give it all for substance. The Job always comes first. He will probably be best-suited if you had to pick football players for Gladiators. He won't care if he bleeds. In fact, he will bleed every match if it means the opponent wont score. (And he will smile while bleeding too) He won't care if he is fractured. He won't care if Cobb brings a freight train through Old Trafford. Nothing would move him. The job would still come first. He would simply do anything for Manchester United regardless of the consequences. Also, I for one, cannot imagine something that could frighten/scare Vidic. Large lizards or awkwardly hopping frogs or nasty roaches wont disturb him. Not even a flying one! It is infact he who scares the life out of people. It is for this very same reason and the respect he commands, you sneakily move away from viewing the picture of Mrs. Vidic on the Man United WAGS section ! No, not her !

 
Despite all his toughness, Vidic is a loved footballer. He is ruthless, yes. Aggressive, yes. But he is not hated like Pepe is or Materrazi is. That itself tells you the quality of the work he puts in. Referees will think twice on his tackles to give penalties. Not out of fear of him, but dubious because of the efficiency of the guy. And no matter how he left them flying through the air during the 90 mins, his shirt will still be sought after by players at the end of the match.
  
There are people who would criticize him for leaving a team when they are in trouble, but for me, he is probably saving awkwardness and trouble for the club he loves, as he has been declining a little (still managing to be our best defender this season) and will get old in a couple of years, making the club mull over a one-year-extension/should-we-tell-bye-bye situation. Clear, decisive and showing the way always !

Thank you Nemanja for showing me football is much more than life or death. Thank you for giving your team everything even when all was lost at times. Thank you for being that stronghold who protects me from the Chezhians (Chelsea fan) and the Saamis (Arsenal fan) of the world, for no one ever picks on Nemanja Vidic. Thank you for being that awesome defender you are that made Ronaldo and Rooney go sprinting on counter attacks without a worry in the world. Thank you for everything Vida !

Nemanja Vidic. Captain. Leader. Killer

Only half the world knows.

Drunken N.Americans who don't wake up by noon even on a Friday,
Complacent cricket loving Indians,
Djemba Djemba,
Late night Australian and Chinese Porn viewers,
Partying Russians on a Friday night,
Nose-pressed Japanese who have it further pressed on pillows,
Wake up!
The Netherlands have beaten Brazil. :)


Just realized, how beautiful a country Netherlands really is. They are popular for coffee shops, kinky sex, windmills and football. Absolutely brilliant! :D

The English Curry..

A Preview of the British Dailies tomorrow...

CHEATED! And then BEATEN! 

...

We got cheated. And then we got beaten. 
An array of English superstars end probably their last world cup, to a blitzkrieg German attack. Thoroughly outplayed for the first 30 minutes by the Germans, going down 0-2, with Podolski and Klose scoring, the English showed courage to pull a goal back, through makeshift comedy defender Matthew Upson to make it 1-2. And immediately a minute later, Chelsea's heart and soul, Frank James Lampard chipped the ball over the German goalkeeper, from the edge of the area. Clearly, the ball hit the crossbar and bounced off more than a foot inside the goal-line, but the complacent referee and the linesmen, against millions of English fans (minus Manchester United fans) refused to believe their eyes, as to whether Lampard could do that! 
...
" We believed Frank Lampard could not do that and we trusted our instincts. Do you think the replays could be morphed? ", commented Referee Jorge Labbadia when asked about the controversy. Now, could they be morphed?
...
When suggested, " That.. Goal.. Referee.. Not Allow..", cried Lampard, having found the net or rather the line this time, after 34 shots and 2 world cups. 
...
From there, England failed to realise it takes only 10 seconds to score a goal through a counter attack. And eventually, ended up getting defeated 4-1, after Thomas Mueller scored a brace....


ENGLAND IN ROO-INS 
...
England's Talisman, Wayne Mark Rooney seemed off color today (as well), like he had been the last few matches. He failed to provide the much needed firepower for The Three Lions. He kept losing the ball, didn't have a single proper shot or chance at goal (very unlikely), and didn't set up anyone for a goal either. 
...
When asked for his poor display at the world cup, Rooney told our reporter, " We acted like a buncha clowns out there. Clearly, Milner is an idiot. He provided no proper cross nor pass. And Gerrard on the other wing, doesn't want a Manchester United player to score! "
...
" Frank's shot was in. Did I see it? Yes. Did I believe it? No. "
...
" Yes. My performance was dismissive too! Need a Punch? :-@ ". Our reporter moved out before things got out of hand and the locker room burst to flames seconds after...


Another Day, Another World, ENGLAND WIN THE WORLDCUP 
...
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2867977/England-are-champs-of-sex-scandal-World-Cup.html


Further HUMILIATION
...
"Gimme English citizenship and I ll win the world cup for ya guys in 2014", says Brazilian born Liverpool Mudfielder, Lucas Leiva...


CATALYST Mixup
...
When asked why England couldn't go through, the Italian had this to say, "We obviously had a goal disallowed. And I should have started with Emile Heskey. He is so the perfect catalyst for Wayne. Defoe was prosaic. And why didn't I hear of Dawson before?"
...
Enough with the catalyst stuff Fabio. Wake up. Heskey is a reserve player for his club, Aston Villa?!? 
Darren Bent scored 24 goals last season. Heskey has never scored more than 20 goals even with 2 years combined. And he is the catalyst?...


The INDIAN View
...
Clearly, the Rooneys, Gerrards, Terrys were outplayed by the Oezils, Muellers and Podolskis today. But what that disallowed goal has done is, it has provided the much-needed alibi for the British. And you really can't say things would have been the same too, had that goal been allowed. 
Yes, Germany scored two after that, but they merely extended a lead under no pressure whatsoever. 2-2 at Half time could have been a whole different ball game. And we know what Rooney could do, (especially Lamps) if everyone around him starts scoring. 
So, did the British lose because of that goal? Maybe. Maybe not. 
Thus the simple beauty of arguments, it could overshadow even the weak, battered defence lines of the English... :D

Watching the Worldcup with my cricket-enamored Mom

"No ma, India is not playing."


"No ma, that doesn't mean they didn't enter the the competition by not registering for it. We didn't qualify."


"Yes ma, but Australia play in the Worldcup."


"No ma, don't worry. I don't think they will win the worldcup."


"No ma, this is a different Ronaldo. Not the hare-teethed Brazilian."


"No ma. I wasn't seeing AXN, I was simply changing channels during the half time break."


"No ma, I don't think India will qualify for 2014 too, unless they host. (and Brazil are already doing it.)"


"The goalkeepers wear a different jersey to be differentiated from the other players ma. They both are the from the same team."


"Yes ma. I didn't understand that the first time too. (offside rule)"


"Yes ma, Pakistan didn't qualify either." :D


"Yes ma, I ll go and sleep now."
And 10 minutes later, the hall light flickers on. :)

Ex.1 - Patchy Guns!

Woes of Arsenal
Aim :

• To stay consistent.(in winning not losing!)
• To hold on to Cesc.
• Not to have debts.

Apparatus Required :

• Dubai Owners and their Oil-sodden money
• Few Experienced players (not chinna chinna pasanga)

Formula In Use :

• Buying teenagers-latest being a 14 yr old! (The kid needs education and porn! not football and injuries!)
• Turn(or try to) them into professional players and let go to other clubs when they are experienced enough to buy new youngsters.Its a loop thing.
• Arsenal=youth-experience+youth+skills+youth-consistency+youth...

Description :

• Signed veteran(really?) "own goal" fame Mikael Silvestre.
• Lost to Aston Villa,M.city, Hull and drew with Tottenham,Stoke.
• Out of Carling cup.
• Wins against ManU and Chelsea.
• Wenger's vaika thagararu with Gallas.
• Not even a silver tumbler for 3 yrs now.
• Rosicky,Diaby,Walcott,Eduardo injured!
• Latest-Fans not supportive
• Longtime problem-Finance.

Procedure/Solution :

• Change strategy, mentality, formation(something like better zone defense, offside traps.. fifa 09 ofcourse ;))
• Get a good striker.. Not someone like Bendtner or Adebayor
• Buy experienced players
• Buy wealthy owners or let them buy you.
• Get physical enough to fend off injuries(6 packs maybe?)
• Cheerleaders! ;) (Ask Dr.Mallya for the chicks' whereabouts)
• Free Pizzas for Fans.. (Now go Arsenal!)
• Injure SAF,Gerrard and Lampard.
• Blackmail the Refree(Bribing is another lil problem for Ars)
• Buy Captain Tsubasa or Captain Vijayakanth.

Comments :


2004 : Chelsea : "Do you want us to get a stadium for you?"
Arsenal :"Do you want us to get the trophy for you?"


2005 : Arsenal, ManU : "Chelsea dint deserve to win the EPL"
Mourinho : "A B C D.. "


2006 : Arsenal : "We will win the Champions league"
Barca : He he he he..


2007 : Arsenal : "Buhbye Henry" Bye trophies.


2008 : Arsenal : "We are gonna buy a 12yr old for the club's future and also we hve booked a new born of a former legend superstar footballer"
Fans : "**** future plans. Worry abt the present!!"

LHS:

Result :


Thus by implementing the possible solutions and suggestions, Arsenal were still found to finish below Manchester United. :P

TERRORS XI

A Fantastic one-two..Amar and Subadesh.. Vishwa.. Sami.. Still Sami.. Crossed deep into the area.. whos at the end of it?? Accckksshhhuuuuuuu… off the post.. It’s a Goal Kick.. Headed on by Nivas.. Given away cheaply.. Wonderful sliding tackle from Raj.. Sarvi.. Crossed wide court to Sai, An exquisite through Pass and Vicccchhhuuuuu… Scoresssssssss!!!!!!

Ever wondered what would be running through the minds of those orderly, organized football managers who keep strutting along the sideline every single match, trying to influence the refrees and the linesmen, and urging their players to score goals, or egging them to injure opponents if they are ahead.. Ah… No wonder Roman Abrahamovich keeps changing his managers too often! Or keeps firing them should I say.. Maybe this is the reason why India has never excelled in this sport.. they simply cant handle managerial pressure.. If just studying can teach administering and managing skills, as the whole nation believes, Sir Alex Ferguson, should have had a gold medal in MBA!! Search of foreign coaches for the Indian Cricket team says it all! Well, u can teach skills to a person, but u cant teach him flamboyance!

I decided to try out my skills as a manager, to see if i m flamboyant at it ;) and there is no other better place to do it other than EA Sports Fifa 08.(neengu ketkurathu puriuthu.. “ithukku thaan ivalavu build up ah ?” He he..) Fifa series of games have been my love since 7^th grade. They keep me occupied for hours like no one does. I remember last creating players in Fifa 2002, where they had a Creation Master software along with the game. And I also remember Fifa 02, has a set of about 25-30 face packs and the created player is to look only any one of those faces! The whole world has only such type of faces or what?!? all other are walking xerox copies of each other?!?

Its only now since then I have tried creating a neighbourhood friend or Collegemate or maybe at times, some one so despicable, just for the pleasure of making them run with the ball, until they fatigue. (Enna Villathanam :D ) Or pickup a fight during Training sessions or getting him injured or making him sit on the bench the whole season while every other player plays, Ah! Sweet.. :)) Fifa 08 has several options unlike Fifa 02, allowing people to have minute changes from hair colour to even lip colour..

.. Terrors XI, a club of he common faces i see everyday and those of unwavering friendship that has been etched in my heart forever. It is the begginning of the history of an undaunted, fearless, aggressive, talented club, which is to overthrow every other top european clubs (rombha over ah iruko!) in the years to come!! OLE!! OLE!!

TEAM MANAGEMENT : (click to Enlarge ;) )

Manche(a)ster United..

On Grand Slam (as described the pundits) Sunday, Manchester United showed every reason why they should be winning the EPL crown this year too. With just three points separating Manu and ‘Arse’nal, it was crucial for Fergie’s side to post a win. 5 wins in a row in the league, and terminating Inter Milan’s title hopes in the UEFA champs, (but still 4^th in the league.. he he), Liverpool, on top form was looking forward to seizing their first win against England’s Most Wanted Club under Rafael Benitez.


Right from the word go, Manu were on target and Pepe Reina, the Liverpool goalie was kept busy throughout. Rio had recovered from a back problem and his presence in the field showed, keeping the dangerous Torres in check. The Spaniard hassled and tussled with the defenders but all his efforts went in vain. Manu forged ahead before the break thro’ Wes Brown, heading in the ball (he scored with his back actually), latching onto a Wayne Rooney cross from the right flank. Also, Javier Mascherano was sent off the field for dissent (Is he nuts or what? Didn’t he know the Referee was the twelfth man at Old Trafford? :D ) Rooney and Ronaldo came agonizingly close to scoring on two occasions. However Ronaldo did score finally in the 79^th minute, what was his 34^th goal this season (En sishyan allava! ;)). Rafa would have wanted it to end as fast as possible now, but the Red Giants weren’t finished yet. Two minutes later, Rooney slipped in a ball to the 21 year old Portuguese winger Nani, who unleashed a strike, after cutting in through with a classy first touch and GOAL!! The youngster celebrated the goal with his trademark back flips. It was celebration time for United’s fans as the Merseyside suffered their worst defeat of the season. United dominated possession and it could have easily been 5-nil if they had taken all the chances.


Arsenal losing to Drogba’s Chelsea later were extra toppings to the Manu fans celebrations. The Red Devils have showed courage and great character all season and the encounter with Liverpool on Easter Sunday just underlined their quality. Quality which made them the second richest club in the world, Quality they had when they finished 2^nd in the league after losing nine starting players in the Munich Air Disaster, Quality that created players such as Duncan Edwards, Bryan Robson, George Best, Brain McClair, Eric Cantona, David Beckham, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Giggs, Rooney, Ronaldo into what they are today, Quality they have shown in winning 10 Premier league titles (yeah 2007-08 is included too ;)), 11 FA cups, 16 community shields and two European cups (few other titles too), Quality which makes them Arguably the Best Club in the World!


Manchester United they are the best,
They stand out above all the rest,
No matter what people say,
You should see Manchester on a match day,


Come on you reds, come on you reds
Just keep your bottle and use your heads
For ninety minutes we'll let them know
Who's Man United, here we go


Glory Glory Man United!
Glory Glory Man United!