I don't wanna wake up

I dont wanna wake up,
for she ain't there to wish me good morning.
I dont wanna brush up,
for she and her tender kisses are gone, me yearning.
I dont wanna take bath,
for it reverts me to the how-do-i-desrcribe-it fragrance she bores.


I dont wanna eat,
for it reminds me of the aw(ful)esome food she shares with me.
I dont wanna talk to anyone, 
for i m afraid i might blurt out her name instead of theirs.
I dont wanna charge my mobile,
for she cant call me anyways.


I dont wanna listen to the beatles, 
for its always about her, they sing about.
I dont wanna see manu play,
for my passion for them reminds me of a similar passion.
I dont wanna see chelsea play, 
for i never watch them play anyways.


I dont wanna go to facebook, 
not cos i was there seconds ago but cos she is not gonna be online.
I dont wanna eat chicken, 
cos.. No wait.. I m still debating it.
I dont wanna see the clock, 
feared, it would prove, nothing in this world moves without her.


I dont wanna even move....
Infact I dont wanna do anything, for in everything,
from minuscule to immaculate,
there she was.


I dont wanna wake up, for she still dances with me in my dreams.


Found this while deleting unwanted files in my documents. 
Amazing! how the human mind can get sad at times. :D

And we thought Ramarajans And Rajkirans were funny!

If you have already heard about the concepts of 'Divide & Conquer', good. Read about it again. Else it goes something like this. Suppose, you are going to have dinner. You have a huge, full grilled chicken in front of you. Now, not that you cant eat it one sitting, but you might end up having a stomach ache. Thus, for better satisfaction you divide it in half, (Now Sai, i m not gonna suggest share it with your friend :P) you have one half now and the other late night (preferably while watching a champions league match). This technique of dividing the chicken for the present and the delicious future for betterment in efficiency of consumption is Divide & Conquer. Now that you know D&C, this has nothing to do with the post. Thought I would let you know I m dividing and conquering right now. Yummmm!


Ok. Now, two things happened in the recent past tat makes me write this. 
One, I saw someone dress stupider than Ramarajan. 
And two, Rajkiran has an untold secret!


Ramarajan and the horizontal half-pants :

<-- this is Ramarajan, known in Tamil nadu for his undaunted courage to wear pink shirts, pink lungis, pink trousers and his kind nature, that marks the willingness to be laughed at uproariously by the entire state, at the slightest behest. No. I m not even gonna start on his acting. His action sequences makes you go OMG! and his romance sequences appeals for the same emotion too. Ironically, he has the record for the longest running tamil movie. Karakattakaran. Now you know why Vijay names his movies ending with "karan". He is said to have got a bit of MGR in him. So he tried placing his foot in politics; became something for a while; then lost his footing; wife divorced him; fell heroically. period. 

Now compare Ramu with this dude --> whom I saw in television while changing channels. Apparently, he is a wrestler and like all wrestlers he over acts. His name is Zack something. And as I watched from my ever-slipping sofa cushions, he did something no other man has ever dared before and I went holy mother of god!
He wears long pants in one leg and briefs in the other leg!!!
(In Tamil - Oru kaal la pant Oru kaal la jatti! ) Holy Mother of God!
The altruist in me sprung to action and believed this social bigotry against Ramarajan should come to an immediate end.
After all, it took the wife 20 years to divorce him. With all due respect, HE IS THE MAN.


Rajkiran and the brand value :


Moving onto our second case study, the other titan of tamil cinema, Rajkiran. 
Now, I was at a Jockey factory sales recently and surrounded by hundreds/thousands of underwear, I might have perhaps unearthed one of the greatest secrets ever. 
After cruising through various sections, I settled at the cotton nightwear section. Little did I know that, thats where the divine intervention was to take place.
~~ 
As the fabric bore a close semblance,
Epiphany, it was that struck me, in silence,
Years of laughing and rianting,
It wasn't after all a cheap outing.
A laugh riot, he had been,
Now, the quiet truth i have seen.


O Society, My Society,
All along, it was the pot calling the kettle black,
Mistaken nature of things! what a pity,
For now, Patta patti is the new black!
A laugh riot, he had been,
Now, the quiet truth i have seen.
~~
If sense hath not thy mind made, see the following two pictures. 
One is the picture of a model, wearing a costly but comfy jockey nightwear, more of a boxer. And the other is Rajkiran wearing the near exact same boxer, but with a lungi! 

And we thought Ramarajans And Rajkirans were funny!!

He-Who-Must-Not-Commentate !!

What do you remember of the recently concluded Indian Premier League?

Yes, the Cheerleaders were great.

Then?

Chennai Super Kings won the IPL. Athough speculations of match-fixing did arise on this particular edition (Finally! I had been saying tat ever since Dravid started hitting sixes for RCB in IPL 2!), be that as it may be, "hey we won it fair and square!"

Anyways, this post isn't about how Raina sweated to his underpants to help Chennai lift the trophy or who Preity Zintha might have been boinking recently, but it is about one man and ONE man only.

And for the love of god, it isn't Lalit Modi.

The man who has been every child and adult's nightmare recently.

He who has mentally scarred me for life, even with the very little cricket i saw and unfortunately heard,

He who makes Sachin Tendular's magnifique batting seem like a great movie with a bad re-recording,

He who would have made Shakespeare and Marlowe, realise English could be made to sound irritating too,

He who makes me hit the wall so hard with my head, that Birla Cements might reconsider their chemical formula,

Yes, I AM talking about LAKSHMAN SIVARAMAKRISHNAN.

He is one of those guys who you would love to have him as your neighbor, so you can go and beat him up as and when you wish. (Now say "Its a DLF Maximum!, you @#$@!^%$ ")

Disclaimer : I don't give a furry rat's tiny ass if you find this offending Mr.L.S.

Technically speaking, its not grammar or pronunciation that Siva lacks. But COMMON SENSE, which he tries to cover it up with stupid jokes. And fails. Miserably. He also has that you-wanna-hit-him-first-thing accent. I can put what Siva does in these words, which I read somewhere, but I m not able to remember :

"He often attacks the context at work with a mixed flair of incredible genius and utter stupidity, its often difficult to separate which is which."

Just a crazy thought for a moment. If L.S had been commentating for the EPL, instead of the IPL ?

1. Siva : "Thats the first goal for MAN U Andy. (Pause) And the first goal for Berbatov as well." Andy Gray : Huh.
2. With Van Der Sar, the ball is always in the air. "That ball traveled in the air for a long time." doesn't augur too well.
3. Barclays Moment of Success sounds stupid and it is too.
4. Now, Liverpool can add to their list of reasons(apart from "1.Lucas") why their season was such a flop.
5. The injured Rooney would remain injured.
6. Its Arjen Robben, not Arjun Robben!
7. Shebby Singh would roll over and act dead.
8. Chelsea will still defend with 9 men.
9. FIFA would crash every time you start a game, before it says "Its Andy Gray and Martin Tyler Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan!"

But hey who knows, Madrid might sign him to be Spain's leading spokesman. (Ok I m not going that crazy here.) :D

However in reality, (he is still commentating) he is often made to sound good, thanks to Ranjit Fernando and Rameez Raja. They just make you wanna pull your hair out. Literally. Ranjit can't have enough of Sangakkkkkkkara and Jayassssuriya, while Rameez is in a class of his own. :D

"Two overs left. That's 12 balls folks!" -Rameez Raja (Wow!)

There is also Arun Lal who seem obsessed with 'pressure' - pressure situation, under pressure shot, pressure this, pressure that. But had you asked me, why my anger/irritation zeroed in on Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan, I wouldn't have an answer. (Must be the specs probably.)

Thats how it is with someone you don't like. You really can't explain why you hate them at times and when I say u can't explain, I dont mean there isn't a reason. There is just too many to choose from. You simply hate them. period.

PS. Ergo, must be the stupidity i guess.

You know you've been spending an awful lot of time Writing Exams when..

... you take your pen with you in the corner of your jean, everywhere you go.

... you double check your purse if u got your ID card with you, b4 entering the milan'em mall.

... you go to the stores to get Lays, Pepsi and ask the store keeper to give a test-note for the remaining 4 rupees.

... you assume its their CGPA we are talking about, when they say they are 6.2'.

... you run to your room, realising you have been sitting in the HALL for a long time.

... you start calculating you will finish taking bath in x minutes, sleep for y minutes and dream for z minutes.

... you talk all eyes and fingers with anyone, even just 10ft away.

... you start to learn where to find the calculator app. in your mobile.

... you, while talking to someone, suddenly stop, wait for about 1/10 of a minute and exclaim something like "55 59 37 9" with absolute joy, as if u have just said the 11th commandment.

... you are reminded of Distributed Computing always for DC, instead of Deccan Chargers and also start to wonder for a moment if FIFA, could mean a subject like OOAD or OR.

... you start making comments like "Its a win-win situation for all the stakeholders" to your girlfriend, accompanied with a chuckle. (:D)

... you say, "I have a feeling of love for thy" , instead of "I love you."

... you suggest names like Milne, Newton Raphson, Grady Booch to your sister's new born!!!

With Love, Terrorist.

To the cruel-mean people of the Indian Cinema,

~Why are terrorists or revolutionists always portrayed angry and stupid? Could the real guys sue the movie makers for it?

I mean, he could finish off the hero the first time he sees him (A head shot would be nice!) rather than letting him go and consequently getting killed by him later, after a most probable hostage situation.

~Why is he still a terrorist, if he cant handle firearms properly? He doesnt even shoot at our hero correctly for 'once' and even if he does, why the shoulder always?

Seriously what happened to the Kalashnikovs, the AK 47s or the C4s that he should have been well equipped with, rather than the shitty weapons he is forced to use while our hero is the one handling a Dragunov Sniper!

~And what is it with the mono-numerology? Why is it always a Wasim or Abdullah or some ***llah? It could as well be a James or a Yung Mang Chang or a Vishnu Gowthem or even a Koundamani. Terrorists should be allowed to have cool names!

~Why does every terrorist sport a long beard and a very sharp nose?

Its as if the Japanese and the other blunt nosed people are incapable of terrorizing acts!

And again Tamil directors! With the konjam-konjam Tamil he speaks, he brainwashes young minds? Not buying it!

~He shouldn't be portrayed psychotic by killing one of his own men. We would like him to do that to enemies instead.

~Also any terrorist should be given his space in the movie, say a possible if-not-foreign country, atleast-ullooor duet with his loved one.

Yours Sincerely,

The Mookan from the Vijayakanth/Arjun Movies.

Love is Blind

First of all this is a true story, but it doesn't mean any person in particular.

And that means especially you Enfy.

Bitch.

This is a simple story of LOVE in its most purest form.

I was in my sophomore year of college. She lived in another part of the same town that I lived in, but was safely protected from the cruel and mean outer world.

I was talkative/chatty but I would like to be referred friendly. :) She was pretty quiet apart from the rare whispers, that I liked her instantly for. But she can scream out loud enough to melt the cerumen in my ear if she wanted to.

My favorite color was black and so was hers although she wore yellow colored garbs more often. (But whenever she was with me, she stuck to black.)

She was good-looking, glossy, hygienic, sexy and smart. She was in all ways, The perfect one for me.

One fine evening, as the crimson sun ruled the sky, I met her for the first time in my life. My friend introduced her to me and like any cliched tamil movie, I instantly fell for her. Yes people, It was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! And unlike cliched tamil movies, she instantly fell for me too.

Till date, I dont know why I did it but I confessed my feelings for her, to me mum and dad. Although they expressed a few regrets, eventually they understood, for our love was unadulterated. They agreed, everything went well and soon we became inseparable. She was very understanding, quick to do things and always was a big part of my happiness. She stuck with me no matter how bad i was. I on the other hand, was ALL OVER HER. I was insane, my friends might say. I DROVE HER CRAZY and she made me drive her crazy too. She responded sweetly to my every single touch. She nodded her head whenever I touched her neck. I look at her as she smile brightly like colored lights whenever the young night came upon. And the good times rolled. :)

I took her everywhere i went. Even while meeting my friends. We went to theaters, restaurants, temples, cricket grounds and pretty much everywhere Madurai offered us. One dark night, we were travelling all alone. Me and her. It was raining and my view was blinded. A car came zooming out of nowhere and we were hit. I escaped with a wolverine like cut in my hand, but she was bruised, which ended up as a big white scar. Yet, she never complained. She still gleamed at me proudly with her scar and smiled pleasantly as ever. To put it simply, I was happy with her and she was all whom I ever needed in this world.

LIFE was too good for us. :)

And after a year and half of our relationship, I was brought back to earth, rather I was thara thara nu iluthified back to earth, as tragedy struck and she was taken away forcefully from me. I just hope she wasn't hurt. :(

For love her always, I will.

Dedicated to my BATMOBILE (Apache RTR 160) that was stolen.

To all the lovely times u tried to kill me,

And the very few occasional moments u almost succeded.

To all the places you showed me,

And the very few you dint make it.

To all the noise pollution we caused together,

And the neighbors that woke up to it.

To the valet parking that you never got,

And the theater parking that you did get.

To the Angelina (Jolie) ride that you would have given me,

And all the British Bakery chicken sandwich we went and got.

To the gallons of petrol you had,

And the imperial gallons of Pepsi I had.

To all the blissful journey we shared,

And the brutal accidents we bear ed,

The precious time you saved me,

And the quick pace you gave me,

May your engine rust in peace.

Amen.