Ex.1 - Patchy Guns!

Woes of Arsenal
Aim :

• To stay consistent.(in winning not losing!)
• To hold on to Cesc.
• Not to have debts.

Apparatus Required :

• Dubai Owners and their Oil-sodden money
• Few Experienced players (not chinna chinna pasanga)

Formula In Use :

• Buying teenagers-latest being a 14 yr old! (The kid needs education and porn! not football and injuries!)
• Turn(or try to) them into professional players and let go to other clubs when they are experienced enough to buy new youngsters.Its a loop thing.
• Arsenal=youth-experience+youth+skills+youth-consistency+youth...

Description :

• Signed veteran(really?) "own goal" fame Mikael Silvestre.
• Lost to Aston Villa,M.city, Hull and drew with Tottenham,Stoke.
• Out of Carling cup.
• Wins against ManU and Chelsea.
• Wenger's vaika thagararu with Gallas.
• Not even a silver tumbler for 3 yrs now.
• Rosicky,Diaby,Walcott,Eduardo injured!
• Latest-Fans not supportive
• Longtime problem-Finance.

Procedure/Solution :

• Change strategy, mentality, formation(something like better zone defense, offside traps.. fifa 09 ofcourse ;))
• Get a good striker.. Not someone like Bendtner or Adebayor
• Buy experienced players
• Buy wealthy owners or let them buy you.
• Get physical enough to fend off injuries(6 packs maybe?)
• Cheerleaders! ;) (Ask Dr.Mallya for the chicks' whereabouts)
• Free Pizzas for Fans.. (Now go Arsenal!)
• Injure SAF,Gerrard and Lampard.
• Blackmail the Refree(Bribing is another lil problem for Ars)
• Buy Captain Tsubasa or Captain Vijayakanth.

Comments :


2004 : Chelsea : "Do you want us to get a stadium for you?"
Arsenal :"Do you want us to get the trophy for you?"


2005 : Arsenal, ManU : "Chelsea dint deserve to win the EPL"
Mourinho : "A B C D.. "


2006 : Arsenal : "We will win the Champions league"
Barca : He he he he..


2007 : Arsenal : "Buhbye Henry" Bye trophies.


2008 : Arsenal : "We are gonna buy a 12yr old for the club's future and also we hve booked a new born of a former legend superstar footballer"
Fans : "**** future plans. Worry abt the present!!"

LHS:

Result :


Thus by implementing the possible solutions and suggestions, Arsenal were still found to finish below Manchester United. :P