Naan KadavuL!

"You are an arrogant bastard and people still love you." 

- Probably one of the best compliments I ever got.

Sometimes people get crazy beyond the normal threshold of craziness, and when that happens they tend to become slightly philosophical. (No I don't mean when drunk. Yes, It happens while drinking too. But I dont mean it that way now) Likewise, I get occasionally high (No drinking again) on philosophy too.
Its not like a lecture-on-OBM philosophical or I'm-me-I'm-my-own-role-model philosophical. Its just something different. Not like a know-all or prick, mind you! There is a big fat line or sometimes a few register numbers separating prick and philosophy.
This is just pure gyaan. Minimalist. Non judgmental. Almost Zen like gyaan.
Just like the kid who tries to pee higher on a wall. Or like Peter Crouch taking a corner kick once in a while. Something different.


Now if you haven't heard already,
I m God.
Yes, I m God. No not you too. 
Just me. 
I ll tell you why. Remember the story of  "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens? well I don't. Not exactly. But what I misread or got out of it when I was young was that Expecting Something Hurts. Always. 
And thats how I have been ever since. I don't expect anything. blah blah blah.
And most of the time, I end up living life the way I want it to be. And at the rare moment something bad happens, I don't pin it on kismet, rather I just try and be as optimistic as possible. And at the rarer moment when all hope is lost, I just become too optimistic or in other words, attain Freedom.


Well what happened here to this good thing over the years is, I din't expect people to get hurt. I grew this thing of completely annoying or angering or hurting someone with absolute ease.
Say you were in a gang of 5, and I m also there. That makes 5-1(you)-1(me)=3 left in the group. And you were the topic of derision and humiliating mockery. Lets also assume you have a normal degree of temper, which was broken that time. And lets also assume all this happened in the morning and you are still angry. Now no matter what the 3 other people said or did, When you have to put it all on a single guy, I will be that guy. Hey I dint start It! But I m still the guy. 
I have just got that anger charisma. :D


Which reminds me of the Grinder story. We nicknamed a girl in my class Grinder, for the reason she starts grinding food the next minute the class gets over. Again it wasn't me who addressed her tat way. No! I wasn't even a contributor to the name, but I m pretty sure Grinder thinks its me. 
Another day, I try to be funny and give Grinder a pulippu mittai for my birthday. A few days later someone else gives Grinder a pulippu-mittai for his birthday, Grinder thinks its me who gives him the idea! Of course Grinder is a mokkai party, so I don't think why she thinks that way. But anyway yo get my point.


Now, As I was using the washroom today, sitting there when the PSP charge drained out and I couldn't play scrabble anymore, this big realization of my power to hurt people so easily, dawned upon me. 
I say something so simple. Bam! you're hurt. And again the people I hurt, still like me. (Of course except Grinder, but there was a time even when Grinder considered me as one of her best friend. Then she just got crabby) 
People still find me supportive. They talk to me well. They just like me. :)
The thing here is I really don't see them get hurt when it happens, but after they react its like crystal clear. Ouch. 
I did try once not to comment or speak sarcastically. But I simply could not do it. Sarcasm is something that comes whimsically to me. 
And you probably know, there is always something or at least one thing wrong with someone. Except the woman you love. :) 
Like Paul Scholes's tackling. Like Shankar's Endhiran. Maybe this is my Endhiran.


And So I think, Who do you like but also find supportive? Who also has the power to hurt you if he/she wanted to? (Remember the Amman movies. Btw, Palayathu Amman was Ramyakrishnan right? )
And I thought.
(The bulb in my toilet glowed brightly)
I m God.


P.S. Powercuts around 2-4 in my area. I take a poop.